Noah had his first Oreo experience when he was home with Daddy, and contrary to the seeming evidence of the photograph, he really did enjoy the whole thing. He's had a rough couple of weeks. He's been sick off and on, more off than on, and you can tell that he was feeling REALLY pitiful because when we went outside the other night, all he wanted to do was sit on Daddy's lap in the swing. It did make for an adorable picture of my boys, though.

Well, that's it for now. I just uploaded those and couldn't wait to post them. I have got to get some sleep. Wow. Two updates in one day...that's some kind of record...

My husband made a funny this weekend while we were working our second official job. One of the other guys that we work with and his wife were at the chapel between weddings and they bought their five month old with them. I was making a complete goose of myself, making funny faces and talking (although I don't do the baby talk thing. Just never could get around to saying "What a cute widdle fing you are!") when they asked when I was going to have another one.

That's kind of a delicate subject at the present moment, what with us finally deciding that we are ready for another munchkin but the whole economy messing with us along with other life things. We had been hoping to start working on our next addition this September so that our next one would conveniently arrive during summer break, but since I'm on a job hunt it looks like that is being pushed back by at least a year. Silly not wanting to be one of those people who gets hired just to go, "Oh, by the way, I'm about to start my second trimester. How much maternity leave do I get again?"

So I gave my standard response, which is that my uterus would like one now, but I'm not listening to it at present. I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and going "La la la la la la!"

Kyle was walking by as I answered. He piped up without missing a beat, "The problem is she put it on vibrate."

Ha!

So for now until things are settled, and for a while afterwards, we will be saved from having to balance taking care of a toddler and a newborn at the same time. Just to give all of you who happen to be reading a bit of flashback, this is how far Noah's come in 16 short months....

I'd never seen this picture before but found it in some of Kyle's things. This is from the night Noah was born. Look at the hair! Look at the lips! Look at the cuteness!

To this! His baby face is going away and he has the most gorgeous smile. I am completely, totally, head-over-heels in love with this guy. Who could resist that face? And those sweet chocolate brown eyes?

This is the reason that I can drag myself out of bed in the morning. I dare you to be in a bad mood after watching this.

OK, so today I went to the cemetary and took some pictures. I really like the way they turned out. The one of Jesus with the kids makes me cry- it was put up by a family that lost three kids over a very short period of time. It's easy to forget that 100 years ago kids did not have the survival rate they have today. I love it anyway- I love the trust that they have looking up at him. I love that the baby's pudgy little hand is grabbing the neckline of his robe. Maybe someday I will have that kind of trust, too. Anyway, enjoy the pictures.

There is a lot of catching up to do, here. First, photographic evidence that Noah may actually be my son:He's not sick- he just woke up. We are NOT morning people. It seemed like he was, but apparently that isn't always the case. This next shots are from Tulsa and the biggest playpen ever:

The shower in our room was huge! The bathroom was bigger than Noah's whole room, and he had a LOT of fun playing in the shower (when the water wasn't running). The fact that he was wearing his Curious George outfit is a happy coincidence.

Kyle loves to play in the dirt. Noah loves to play in the dirt. I love watching them play in the dirt together. Here's exhibit A:

And, in the last ones for now, are a couple of pictures that I took because I was playing with the color settings on my camera and Noah looked adorable. As per usual.

OK, so I know I said today would be back to normal, but I lied. Time for a brief political discussion. Well, not so brief, definitely not PC, but here you go.

I firmly believe in the idea that every person of eligible voting age should exercise their right to vote. I also believe that with that power comes the responsibility for educating yourself about all of your options. I may completely disagree with your choice of candidate for any given race, but if you have a well-reasoned argument to support your position, I can respect that. Every person should decide what issues are most important to them and what issues are deal breakers. Me?

I am a woman. I am a woman who has carried a baby through an unexpected pregnancy that required me to put my dreams on hold for a while. I am a woman who thinks that abortion should be banned in the United States.

I will never, ever, ever vote for a candidate who supports abortion in any form. I believe that a woman has the right to choose- the right to choose to use contraception or not. Once a pregnancy starts, the woman is no longer the only factor in the equation, and the worst case scenario is that she's going to have to handle the consequences for nine months. Pregnancies resulting from rape are a hard thing to contemplate- but they are also extremely rare. Speaking as a mom, I can't imagine penalizing that little thing inside for the actions of an awful person. If I became pregnant as the result of rape, it would be a great comfort to know that something good came out of an unimaginably horrible experience- a baby that would be raised by an adoptive family that desperately wanted a child. I know that many women who get abortions are scared, have inadequate support systems, and do not know what else to do. There are SO many resources that are available. There are homes in which you can live, agencies and adoptive parents who are lined up to pay for your medical bills and expenses, and safe places for your baby to go after you give birth if you aren't in a place where you can take care of a little one. We have done such a poor job of taking care of these moms. It is no wonder that many feel they have no option but to "get rid" of an unwanted pregnancy. So, there's something to work on.

This is one of the things that worries me about Barack Obama. He is a wonderful speaker. He is very charismatic. He speaks of things that are appealing- who doesn't want hope and an improved future? However, he also is a supporter of partial-birth abortion. This is a procedure were a baby is delivered feet first, then when the back of the head is showing the skull is punctured and the baby's brain's are vacummed out to kill it. If that baby made it four more inches into the world and the same procedure was performed, the law would call it murder. Any person who supports such a procedure cannot possibly have respect for human life. I do not know how you can call yourself "Christian" and think that this is OK.

I know that different people have different issues that are their focus. The economy obviously looms large in many people's minds. $100 at the grocery store gets you 75% of the groceries it would have bought you a year ago. Gas has gone up like crazy. The job market is shaky, house values are decreasing...I worry about all of these things too. It's just that the fact that this last year was the first year since Roe v. Wade that fewer than one million abortions were performed in the U.S. For those who aren't Constitution nerds, Roe was decided in 1973. So, for the last 35 years, at least one million abortions per year have happened. In high school, we were told that Hitler was responsible for the deaths of 6 million Jews and 5 million others in the Holocaust, not to mention war casualties. So we've got Hitler beat over 3 to 1, and it's all legal. This bothers me a lot more than paying $3.25 a gallon for gas or the probabilty that I will be unemployed in a few months.

Keep me in your thoughts, pretty please.

Recovery has not been going very well. I'm pretty sure that most of you know, but just in case you don't, I've had an eating disorder for the last ten years. First it was anorexia, then it was bulimia. My pregnancy acted as a motivator for me to stop my behavior for a while, as did breastfeeding after Noah got here. In the months since Noah weaned himself, things have gotten worse. The stress from not being able to do what I want to do (stay home) compounded with my job has made things hard on me. So a couple of weeks ago I came out and told three of my good friends what was going on.

Now I'm telling you guys. We've reached the point of scary, and I need to tell people what's going on so I don't have the comfort of it being in secret.

I have talked to our girls about the trap of bad relationships/eating disorders/negative self-esteem and body image for a long time. I have talked about the importance (especially in the church) of transparency about our struggles. I do think it still threw people when I went in front of the congregation and said "Hey, I have bulimia. I'm hurting myself. Please pray for me." instead of saying "I have struggles in my life." Being real is hard, but if the alternative is a skin-deep facade...well, I've done that and there is no benefit to be found in a superficial existance. I will not, at this point, get on my soap box about THAT particular issue. At least not any more than I just did. :)

I am starting tomorrow on a balanced and structured eating plan. I have been dysfunctional for so long that I have no concept of healthy eating, so we are hoping that this plan will help. Please pray that I will be able to adjust my paradigm to be a healthy one. I no longer know what "normal" is or feels like because it has been so long since I was there.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Eating disorders are a strange and powerful addiction. Chances are that you know someone who struggles with this, or maybe it's something that you have to fight yourself. Just be compassionate. Listen. And don't be afraid to kick someone's butt if it needs to be done.

So. That was a ramble. Tomorrow we will return to our regularly scheduled programming and I will have some adorable pictures of my sweeties.