Just a quick one, because I'm sleepy, but this may be my favorite picture I've taken of Noah to date. (Yes, I realize that my "favorite picture" of Noah is kind of like Kyle's "favorite band" thing. But when a kid is this cute, well, there aren't many bad pictures.)

There. Now aren't you glad you came and looked?

And now for something completely different.

I am planning on going trying to go to grad school next fall. You might think that with all the changes and uncertainty (my job, not Kyle's) going on at the moment that this isn't the best time. What can I say? We're gluttons for punishment. Actually, it's a need to be roaming through the stacks again, smelling the old books and contraband coffee, reading and learning and writing things just for the joy of reading and learning and writing them. It's about reclaiming myself a bit, too. I love my boys. I absolutely adore them. But I can't argue constitutional theory with Noah. Although Kyle gets geeked up about politics, he's not really interested in the whole "procedural vs. substantive due process" arguement. At least not all the time. And I LIKED who I was when I was in those classes. I liked picking arguments apart and coming up with ideas that, if not new to the academic world, were at least new to me. I miss it. I want to do it forever.

I am excited about doing something that I love so much. I am scared that I'll go through the program and be in the same place I am now: in a job that doesn't utilize (or in my current case, even require that I have) my degree. I am completely freaked out that my brain will somehow no longer work, or that the courses will be too hard, or that I will forget how to write in complete sentences. I am not looking forward to taking out loans or grants or whatever it is you do to fund school- I was lucky for undergrad and didn't have to worry about that stuff. (Thank you, bubble test!) I think it would be awesome to have the kind of schedule you can have when you're a professor. I think it would be fantastic for someone to PAY me to read about stuff I find interesting and then write about it. I love the idea of having summer vacation forever, unless I want to teach Summer or Intersession. I love the idea of being able to teach a three week class and make a nice chunk of change. My husband loves the idea of me being geeked up about something again. He thinks it's adorable.

So. Yep. That's the plan. I really am going to give the whole "becoming a professor" thing a shot. If everything times out right, I should be finishing up my P.h.D about the time the kids (no, there aren't anymore on the way yet, no, it won't be anytime soon, yes, we do want more one of these days) hit school. We can do homework together. I am just naive enough to think that it will be fun.

So, if you're around me often, hit me every now and then and ask how things are going. I have to get all my paperwork done by January 1st, which means I need to take the GRE about 6-8 weeks from now, get letters, write purpose statement, etc.

Wish me luck. Pray really hard that I don't talk myself out of it.

And keep coming here for the cute pictures of Noah, because I am definitely going to keep taking those.

I forgot that I promised Gram pictures. She certainly deserves at least one, but I'll post several. Here's my favorite: it's Noah and Abbey together. You can't tell from the picture, but we're playing peek-a-boo. I'm bouncing up and down behind the ottoman that they're holding on to. For some reason, they found this to be a very, very amusing game.

Here's one of Noah meeting Chloe, Ashleigh's new pug puppy, for the first time. He was not sure quite what to make of her. In his experience, "puppies" are big black dogs. Not whatever this thing is. All he knew was that he wanted to poke her eyes. We did manage to avert that particular encounter.

Finally, here's a picture of my boys. It's hard to tell, but this is them. Noah was very, very asleep at the time.

So I was standing in line at Target today when I started comparing myself and my purchases to the woman standing in front of me and her purchases.

She was very fit and wasn't shy about showing off her body- not that I'm a denim miniskirt kinda gal myself, but I must admit that I might be more tempted if I looked like that instead of what I looked like now.

I looked at myself, with my post-baby self in which everything was bigger than what she was showing off, and not necessarily in what you would think of as a good way.

I looked at her purchases- over $350 of pretty things for her house. Some nice art, some new bed linens, candleholders, pillows...

and then I looked at mine.

Formula, contact solution for Kyle, that sexiest of all hosiery items the knee-high, and a toothbrush. The formula is the generic kind because it's cheaper, the contact solution isn't because that's the kind he has to have for his contacts, the knee-highs were the ones on clearance. The toothbrush is just there cause I needed a toothbrush.

And for a minute I am jealous. Jealous of the way she looks, the home decorating things she's getting, the fact that she can afford to spend that much money on ANYTHING when I'm crying about having to buy generic formula.

But then I realize: hey-I'm buying formula because I have the most adorable son in the world who does, on occasion, enjoy a warm bottle. (Not too cool. Not too hot. Just right.) My body looks the way it does in large part because of bringing said adorable son into the world. I don't have to wear a miniskirt and heels, because Kyle and Noah love me even in my jammies.

There is something about love and home and just the everyday domesticity of it all that is just the most wonderful thing in the world. She looked good, got pretty things, and left in a nice car. I looked like I was about to fall over, got what we needed, and left in my nice reliable car.

And went home to a husband that loves me and a baby that I can make laugh sometimes.

I don't think I would trade her places. I'll admit that when Noah wouldn't stop crying tonight and I felt woefully inept and inadequate because I couldn't fix whatever it was that was upsetting him, the idea of some peace and quiet (or just 10 minutes all for myself) was pretty appealing. But then he ruined it all when I picked him up out of his carrier and he snuggled with me. I was a goner.

Pictures of the aforementioned adorable baby coming soon. I just felt talky tonight for some reason. Peace be with you.

There are two purposes of this post. The first is to brag on my husband, whose incredibly perfect birthday gift for me was having pictures made of him and Noah. The second is to share the incredibly adorable pictures that came from their photo session. Enjoy!