Dear USC-

Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really appreciate you completely sucking tonight and losing to Oregon State, even if it meant that I nearly gave myself a hernia by NOT screaming when Oregon State got that last minute interception that made my heart go pitter-patter. My son is asleep, you see, and so he doesn't know yet that the team that was number 1 before tonight isn't going to number 1 any more. We'll tell him in the morning, right after we sing the good morning song and tell him how much we love him. We'll tell him it's an even better day because you lost last night. To an unranked team.

Thank you for sacrificing yourselves and your coach to bring such joy to the heart of a 22 month old boy.

Assuming that we don't pull a you tomorrow when we play TCU, I think we have a nice little stretch coming up.

And even if we do lose, you lost first.

Ahhhhhhhh. I love college football.

Sleep well.

Love,

me